i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
