would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
