So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
