youre lurking in front of me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
