when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
