sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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