The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
