your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
