Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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