If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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