if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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