Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Be still, my beating vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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