I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
