So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
