We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
