I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
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