We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
