uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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