Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
