Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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