So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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