Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
