I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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