So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
