That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
