I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
