Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize