yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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