Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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