those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
