my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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