Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
either way he was missing a nipple.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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