No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
