I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
