My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
