We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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