btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
