Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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