i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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