i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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