Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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