do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
