I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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