Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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