I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
