There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
