I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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