you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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