Jerry, you need to find god
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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