Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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