dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize