so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
