I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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