guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
