So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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