he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
only if we run a train.
done.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
