i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
