She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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