In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
