1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
