I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
