$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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