I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
