I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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