My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
