you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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