That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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