im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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