Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
