Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
