If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
